


Cupid's Chokehold

by QueenImmadolla



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comedy, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:40:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21685420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenImmadolla/pseuds/QueenImmadolla
Summary: Lorcan Scamander is finally ready for a steady relationship with the exuberant Lucy Weasley, the feeling might even be mutual! Only one problem: she isn't allowed to date unless her older sister Molly does. And she'd rather drop dead. Now, he's got to find Her Royal Frigidness a boyfriend so he can be Lucy's. Cue Hogwarts' resident bad boy.
Relationships: Dominique weasley/Alice Longbottom, Lily Luna Potter/Lysander Scamander, Lorcan Scamander/Lucy Weasley, Louis Weasley/Original Male Character(s), Molly Weasley II/Original Male Character(s), Rose Weasley/Original Female Character(s), Scorpius Malfoy/Albus Severus Potter
Kudos: 3





	Cupid's Chokehold

**Author's Note:**

> It's my own take on 10 Things I Hate About You meeting the Hogwarts verse. I'm basically ignoring everything JK has added over the years regarding the second gen's ages. I'd also like to add that this has been bouncing around my head since like 2009, so all the people I imagine as these characters where popular in the early-mid 2000s. I'll probably use pictures of them to give everyone a really good idea. 
> 
> Michelle Trachtenberg (circa Ice Princess) as Molly  
> Travis Clark (younger him) as Clark  
> Amanda Bynes as Lucy  
> Oliver James as Lorcan (Rolf was described 'Swarthy' so I highly doubt Lor and Ly are blonde and blue eyed whites.)
> 
> While this story focuses on on Lorcan/Lucy to some extent, it is mainly Molly/OC. Hope you like it.

Lorcan loved very few things in life. He loved his family, he loved his hair, he loved fall because it wasn’t too hot and he could easily control his body temperature with very few layers. But what Lorcan really wanted was to love a who. A Lucy Lu Who, to be exact. Lucy Weasley. She was all he could think about in his free time and it annoyed the shit out of him. 

Lorcan was far from a player, but not by much. He wore leather jackets, plain t-shirts, dark colors, and he kept his hair gelled into a a faux hawk. He and his brother, while fraternal twins, were both incredibly handsome, not ruggedly but they were a good looking duo. Lysander, was stupidly in love and happily chasing after Lilu, but Lorcan wasn’t the girlfriend type.

See, he wanted to get his life in order before he settled down with anyone, and he couldn’t imagine getting serious with someone just to fill the time, so he’d find girls who understood and knew what they were getting into. A couple of dates, mainly for companionship, some kissing, and even sex if they both wanted to have it. But nothing beyond that. No feelings. 

And it was all going swimmingly, until Lucy came crashing into his life. They’d always known each other, but not that well. He shouldn’t have even liked her, she was perky, optimistic, talked way too much and way too fast, but goddammit, she was enigmatic. She had the prettiest fucking laugh, pretty blue eyes, light brown hair always smelling like hairspray even when she wasn’t wearing any, this smile that made anyone it was directed at feel special, and she was so honest. Not the rude type of honest, but very true to people. She, like her sister, lost her English accent and picked up an American one, courtesy of her American mother over time, he can’t even remember when it happened but he could recall hearing both accents alternate with each other until one day he noticed it was just American.

And her hugs. That’s how it all started.

Her stupid, warm hugs.

He’d been on the receiving end of one the summer before last, right before his 4th year, when his father died. 

At his father’s wake, he was hiding in the garden of their backyard, desperate to get away from everyone and their ‘I’m so sorry’s’. She still found him.

He didn’t even know how long she was there, she never said a word. He only noticed when he happened to face her direction. Her eyes were sad, but unlike the ones filling his home, they didn’t pity him. 

And then she closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around him in the most comforting hug he’s ever experienced. It wasn’t an awkward quick hug, or a bear one, or one that made him feel violated (Alice, Gus, and Frankie’s recently divorced mum got a little too handsy with him during the wake), it made him feel important. It was the best kind of intimate feeling he’s ever felt. Like she actually cared about him. 

He had managed to shove that wonderful feeling down for a year and a half but that meant it had a year and a half to fester. Now, he wants to get serious.

As he watched her cut the crust off of her sandwich and laugh at something Lilu said, he felt that telling feeling in his belly. The one that told him his heart and emotions were fucked. 

He wanted to get serious with her.

And that was a problem because she's not allowed to date. 

Okay, not really. He’s being dramatic, she’s allowed to date, but it’s known throughout school that the Weasley sisters’ parents have a rule that Lucy can only date if her older sister, Molly, is dating someone and Molly is a bit…antisocial. That’s the kind way to state it. She’s mean, opinionated, incredibly independent, smart enough to rival Mona Finnigan-Thomas—a very pretentious Ravenclaw—and very much so not interested in dating.

Lorcan used to think she was a lesbian, because the Weasley family is so large that the odds of a gay cousin were high, but then Dominique, Louis, Albus, and Rose came out and he mentioned his suspicion to Dom who laughed herself so hard that she peed a little before telling him that Molly was straight and wouldn’t ping a single gaydar, she just didn’t like immature guys.

After that, she thought he had a crush on Molly and he knew she told her little girlfriend because for three months he’d catch Alice staring at him with this knowing smirk that annoyed the crap out of him. After seeing him literally never interact with Molly, they stopped.

So if he wanted to be with Lucy, he had to figure out how to get Molly a boyfriend, too. 

What type of boy would be good for her?

His eyes drifted over to the Ice Queen’s table—how she was sorted into Hufflepuff, he had no idea. But he read somewhere that badgers could be extremely aggressive and dangerous to humans so it’s probably fitting. 

Everyone was chattering at the friendliest of all the tables, except for Molly. She had her head buried in a book while she stirred something in a mug. He’d need someone tough. Someone who could hold their own against her bite. Or just someone who could tolerate her. Someone who could like her. Lorcan heard more than his fair share of locker room talk and Molly was never the subject of any of the guys’ conversations unless they were complaining about her. They’d never go after her, even if he bribed them. They weren’t crazy.

If only there was someone in this school who was almost as intimidating as her, who’d have no trouble dealing with her, someone who would make her see—

Lorcan jumped up, disturbed from his thoughts by the loud whistling of—

“Fireworks?”

They were flying all across the great hall, weaving through the floating candles and both distinguishing flames as well as reigniting them. One swooped the witch’s hat right off McGonagall’s head and carried it off before it burnt to ashes, with the ashes falling on a student looking entirely too smug to not be the culprit. 

He was leaning back, sleeves rolled up his arms to expose a sleeve of tattoos that should’ve been hidden, elbows on the table and legs crossed at the ankles, blocking the walkway for anyone who wanted to get past. For a second, Lorcan thought his hair was on fire before realizing it was just the same color as fire and tied back very messily. And then he opened his mouth. “I swear, that was just supposed to be a firecracker.”

A candle right above Lorcan’s head flickered to life.

**Author's Note:**

> Lilu isn't a spelling mistake, it's what Lily Luna goes by.


End file.
